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The loverliness of overheardeverywhere

 The Economy Hits The Airlines Hard

Captain, over intercom, after lights go out: You are getting veeeery sleeeeeepy... You do not want peaaanuts... You do not want soooodaaa... You just want to sleeeep until we laaaaand.

Southwest Airlines Flight over California

Overheard by: AndrewVote Counted! 97 % of 344 liked this one. 


Any Tattoos or Distinguishing Marks?

Dispatcher on police scanner: A subject was just robbed at gunpoint by a black male wearing no clothing.
Cop #1: Can we get a clothing description?
Cop #2, after silence: Just look for a naked man with a gun.

 Chad and Jeremy Break Up

Gay guy #1, walking down the street: Oh, this place is cute. Your parents should stay here when they visit.

Gay guy #2: That's a funeral home.

We'll Get You a Milk and an Epi Pen and Let's See What Unfolds


Five-year-old in cafeteria during kindergarten lunchtime: Mr. Greg, my mom didn't put juice in my lunch. Can I get a drink from the cafeteria?
Mr. Greg: Sure, I'll get you something. You want milk?
Five-year-old: Yeah.
Mr. Greg: Regular white milk or chocolate?
Five-year-old: Chocolate.
Mr. Greg: Okay. You're not allergic to chocolate, are you?
Five-year-old: Yeah.
Mr. Greg: You are? Oh, then I'll get you white milk. Are you allergic to white milk?
Five-year-old: Yeah.
Mr. Greg: Oh, then I'd better see if they have juice.
(Mr. Greg goes into the kitchen and comes back with orange juice)
Mr. Greg
: Here's some orange juice. You're not allergic to orange juice, are you?

Five-year-old: Yeah.
Mr. Greg: Do you know what "allergic" means?
Five-year-old: No.

And Axes Are For Plunder, Whips For Fun, Etc.


Four-year-old boy, wielding plastic sword and shield: It's a knife!
Boy's mother: No, it's a sword.
Four-year-old boy: No! It's a knife!
Boy's mother: No, no, no, Danny. Knives are for cutting. Swords are for vanquishing.

No, They Were for the 50 First Prisons Founded in Australia


Elisabeth Hasselbeck, when asked what the stars on the American flag mean: The original states and colonies. 

(Oh my god, i met her! *flips out* -madi :P)

Achieving Immortality the Woody Allen Method

Madonna: I want to be like Gandhi, Martin Luther King, John Lennon, and Jesus ? but I want to stay alive.

That Makes One Of Us


Pete Wentz: I love Jessica Simpson's stuff -- especially the shoes. I dance around my house in them all the time.

Let's See If She'll Be Trying with You After This


Cute chick in line: Oh! I want Haribo gummi bears! I need a snack to study effectively. There are lots of things I don't do effectively without snacking.
Boyfriend: Maybe you should try snacking next time we have sex. You know, maybe a little popcorn...a candy bar...
Cute chick: Are you saying my sex isn't effective? Well, maybe there won't be a next time.
Boyfriend: You know, you're not responding very well to constructive criticism. The solution is to keep trying, not to give up.

I'm Unfamiliar With That Game


Preschool boy: Can I play with you?
Preschool girl: Come near me and I'll stab you.

Little Frasier and Niles Were Quite the Handful


Teen boy: (glares at brother, bites thumb)
Younger brother: Mom! He's non-verbally quoting Shakespeare at me again!














thannnnk you lynnchan!








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Feb. 25th, 2009 08:17 pm (UTC)
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